Leadership and Love (Short Essay)

by: May Anne Joy D. Romanes

      majromanes57@gmail.com

(in reference with the 11th to 21st Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John Maxwell)

    Over the years, leadership has been tainted with a myriad of issues.  Leadership nowadays is commonly associated with the unscrupulous leaders, illegal transactions, and deteriorating organizational health.  Yet there is some truth that not all leadership is good, this should not hinder people from believing that good leadership is still possible. 

                Good leadership is about having a good relationship.  President Banda of Malawi in Africa (as cited by Saldinger, 2015) even pointed that leadership is a love affair.  In her speech (as cited by Saldinger, 2015), she said that leadership is about the leader falling in love with people, and people falling in love in return.  In this process, the elements of good leadership come into the surface.

                There are 11 important elements that can contribute to successful leadership, although the elements are not only limited to this number.  If to lead is to love, then these elements are crucial to start and maintain a successful ties between the leader and their followers.

                The first element in any love affair is finding the right person.  In leadership, finding the right person can be translated to finding the right people to effectively accomplish the needed tasks.  Often times, the people in the organization are already there when the leader enters the organization; hence, there is a limited possibility of choosing the right people and removing the people who is deemed not-so-helpful in the organization.  In essence, the leader can surround himself/herself his/her fortress by getting the genuine and honest people in his/her circle (Law of Inner Circle).

                The second element in the love affair is that the right person must also like you (Law of Buy-in).  If the other person does not like you, then obviously there would not be any relationship at all.  The same is true in leadership, if the followers do not like the leader at all, then he/she would not be able to lead.

                Thirdly, the person must feel and be better when he/she is with the person he/she loves.  In leading, the followers must be empowered (Law of Empowerment).  In this way, they will accomplish more.  People with higher self-esteem and self-confidence are more positive, and more ready to accept and overcome the challenges they face (Coaching Positive Performance, n.d.). 

                Fourth, when people are in love, they wanted to please each other.  One of the ways to please each other is to mirror what the other person is doing.  In this sense, it will be easier for them to connect with each other and avoid conflict in the future.  Likewise, in leadership, the followers mirror the actions of the leader (Law of Picture).  Whether they like it or not, it becomes an instinct to the followers, not only because they wanted to please their leader, but also because of the great impact the leader has to their lives.  Hence, the leaders must do what they wanted their followers to do.  

                The fifth element in a loving relationship is winning every problem that arises.  If both do not have capacity to win the problems, then the relationship will eventually die.  This is the same with leadership.  All war should be won (Law of Victory), unless the leader wants his/her organization to go down—something that is unlikely. 

                To be successful in the previous element, the next two elements are crucial—sacrifice and timing.  In relationship, these are indispensable.  To bring depth in the love affair, both persons must give sacrifices to get better things for both of them; to minimize needless problems, both must know the right time for them to do things considering all their resources, the people around them, and other factors.  Similarly, in leadership, sacrifice gives leaders more depth in a way that the more important the things they give up, the more attached they become with their followers and the organization (Law of Sacrifice).  Moreover, timing makes a leader more efficient (Law of Timing). Leaders make more time when they do not have to face problems that can be avoided in the first place.

                The eighth element is priority (Law of Priorities).  If in a love affair, priorities cannot be set and agreed upon, then more important things might be neglected.  If in leadership, priorities cannot be defined and agreed upon with the members of the organization, then opportunities and inputs might just be wasted.

                The ninth element is seizing the momentum (Law of Momentum).  Great opportunities are rare to find, and with momentum, most of the difficult tasks involved in these becomes doable.  In love, if a man seizes the momentum and asks for the hand of the love of his life, it is very possible that she will accept his proposal, and eventually marry; hence, the bond becomes stronger.  In leadership, if the leader seizes the momentum, he/she can skyrocket the organization’s growth, as well as his/her followers.  Because of this, the commitment and engagement increase exceedingly.

                The previous element is closely related to the tenth element—growth (Law of Explosive Growth).  In love, once the lovers marry, they will have children.  It is not enough that they raise children; they must make them great.  In leadership, it is not enough to lead the followers; they must make the followers into leaders (Maxwell, 1998).

                Lastly, once lovers had their children grow, they must create a legacy (Law of Legacy).  As mentioned earlier, they must raise their children to be great.  They must pass on their values, dreams, and their wisdom to them.  In the same way, leaders should also create a legacy in their organization—a legacy of something that they do best, and the qualities that made their followers accomplish the most difficult tasks successfully.

                In the final analysis, there is no perfect relationship in love affair and leadership.  There will be times that problems will shake the relationship, but for as long as the bond between/among the people involved stays strong, they will triumph every battle they face.  Good leadership, even a great one, can be translated into reality, only if there is good relationship—a relationship when the leaders and followers, who continue to fall in love with each other.

References:

Coaching Positive Performance. (n.d.). 11 benefits of high self-esteem. Retrieved from https://www. coachingpositiveperformance.com/11-benefits-high-self-esteem/

Maxwell, J. (1998). The 21 irrefutable laws of leadership. Retrieved from http://cordovla.weebly.com/uploads/2/8/6/9/ 2869785/the_21_irrefutable_ laws_of_leadership.pdf

Saldinger, A. (2015). Joyce Banda: 'Leadership is a love affair'. Retrieved from https://www.devex.com/news/joyce-banda-leadership-is-a-love-affair-87138